Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry i could not travel both and be the one traveler, long i stood and looked down one as far as i could to where it bent in the undergrowth; then took the other, as just as fair, and having perhaps the better claim, because it was grassy and wanted…
She and I were hanging out at the park, which is right next to her old high school. Around 3:00, school got out and a bunch of high schoolers came over to the table area we were sitting at and started speaking amongst themselves, talking about things like this bitch they didn’t like (talking shit,…
Sometimes I write to you about someone elses story.
Sometimes I write just to show the world I got talent.
Most the time its all those combined. I write to tell the story that is my life. I spin it I refigure it. I put it in a new light and make it something new. I explain life in a way that lets you go thru a thinking process. I don’t throw it at you all at once and make you go “What the hell.”
Ive been writing at random for an hour straight. This is post number 6. This is me showing the world I can write non stop. It don’t matter. I can write backwards and forwards and any which way I want.
I can send a message.
I can tell a story.
I can tell you about someone elses story.
I can do them all at once.
I’m going on 9 hours sleep in the last 3 days. I don’t need sleep.
Essence of her love
It stays with me in my dreams capturing my soul and pulling it towards her
From mountain tops to endless oceans
I will learn to fly for her
I will learn to breathe under water for her
To find her is life
To be with her is heaven
I can write. I can do this. I know I can do this. I believe in myself. Thats all that matters.
Sometimes Ill cry at night. Ill be standing with my arms against the wall as I lean forward. Head down and the tears just fall. I try to hold it in but they just come out.
Ill look around the room Ive lived my whole life in. The complete mess. Ill take in the same house I live in. Ill think about my mother and how she can’t do more then this. They I hear my drunk brother yelling something stupid, mean, or racist.
I just cry. I just wrote something good and put it on my website. Posted the links to handful of other sites. To Deviant Art for the art community. To tumblr for all the rebloggers. To twitter to all the people I talk to. To Facebook so my family can see it. What I wrote is amazing but I know no one will read it. Not a single person.
Working so hard for myself. Spending sleepless nights creating things. No one gives me incentive but myself. It goes nowhere. People tell me this isn’t real. It doesn’t matter. And there the same ones that don’t even read this. They never check my stuff out. But they stand in front of me telling me its no good. That its not worth my time.
I can’t stop myself from crying. It just keeps coming and coming. Life is physically pushing me down. All I can do is brace myself up against the wall and let it beat me down. Let it hit me. All I can do is let the tears continue. Let the pain happen.
Next life is going to hurt the people around me. Make it so I can’t do anything. Put the solution right out of my reach. Leaves me to pick up the pieces and try to hold the mess together. Like rain falling thru my fingers.
I take absolve myself thru more writing. Writing more things people will never read. Pushing harder on something I know will never work. I cling to this dream for my life. I claw at the walls around me as I’m pulled down. I will force this to work or die trying. To succeed is the only option. I won’t ever stop. Even if I’m the last person on earth.
I love someone Ive never met in person. I don’t even know what voice sounds like. I have one blurry picture of her. Sometimes I won’t talk to her for months. Only talking at random every few months. But I rather talk to her once every few months then win the lottery everyday of my life.
We talk about each other. What were doing in life. How were are. Mostly we fantasize about what it will be like in the future when were together. We constantly downplay truth. Knowing full well were not perfect. We don’t expect anything physical. Just to be together in person and talk for hours on a daily basis.
We know what people think. We hear what they say to us. Its not real. Its just something you play around with. You should stop it and doing something more real. We can’t possibly be this close yet never have met before. Hard to believe that those long distance never met before people could have a deeper relationship then you do in person with most people you meet.
We talk about what new songs we like. What books were reading. What movies we just watched. But mostly we talk about each other. Likes, fears, needs. We talk about personally philosophy and memories. We share embarrassments and pain. Opening up towards each other.
When all you can do is talk to each other you just talk. You can learn so much about a person from only talking to them for hours year after year. Whens the last time you talked to someone for 5 hours straight?
The plan is to eventually get together. Get married. Sit down next to each other. And talk. Do you have plans like that? Is this idea of love so different to you that you must put it down? That you must belittle it? Have you ever had anything this good. Maybe more people should try being friends instead of hooking up.
I don’t even have to talk about the pain of waiting. Its not impossible. If you’re strong enough you make it work. If you love someone enough, you make it work. I am making it work. I don’t care what you think or say.
Do you get lost in life? Lost in your decisions. Forcing yourself into the corner.
The night that got out of hand. Almost forgotten until she reminds you that all is not right and that in 10 months time your whole world will change.
Three years deep into college. Thinking going onto law school. You and your girlfriend are getting serious. But something wrong. Something don’t feel right on the inside. And now the doctor telling you that you life is getting short for you.
You were married so long. Almost 30 years. It rained hard that night and while you waited at home for him you noticed he wasn’t home by 8 like usual. You wait till 10 and start making calls. You get no answers. And then you get the call you dread. Now you know 30 years wasn’t enough. Why couldn’t you just have one more day.
Fallen. Tears streaming down your face. Slowly falling into the pit of depression. Life has won. Successfully knocked you down. You won’t get back up from this. Lost to life.
Will you accept the role of father. It may of not been planned but now its happening. Will you take care of your family? Love them with all you got. Can you promise to be there for birthdays. Wrap the gifts on christmas.
They say death is inevitable. Something you can’t outrun. And right now its on your doorstep waiting for you. Will you stand up strong and not go quietly into the night. Knowing that each day is one that you can give something good to the world. Another day of life. Another day of love. Will you run even though death is in front of you waiting for you to give up.
Now you feel the pain. Knowing a part of you is gone. The majority of you resided in him and he’s dead. You wait for no one. Can you push forward knowing you’ll never love someone the same. But knowing you can still love the world. He may of been your world but there are other people and they are someone elses world. Knowing others love. Caring enough for the world. Will you get back up and push forward into the world.
Life attacks us often. Forcing us into places we don’t want to be in. These places aren’t bad places. Only different places with great opportunity to grow. To make of what you are given. To have great lost but foster great love out of it. You may lose to life, but there will always be another match.
If you could start the world over how would you do it? Would you trust the people or direct and control every little factor. Would you be demanding or would you ignore and live your own life.
Many people want things fixed in this world but no one really puts out an answer to everyones problem. Mostly because everyone is different and one persons answer is another persons problem.
But what if we started over. Before the world grew so different. Would you let the world just repeat itself or would you try something different. Is it possible to derail human kind. Maybe were destine for great difference. Maybe there will never be answers for us.
But what about the 35 year old on triple duty getting shot in the bad a week away from the end. Can we fix that? What about the kid without shoes and hasn’t eaten for days. Is that a problem with an answer? Can we stop the poor from wanting just something? Can we stop the rich from wanting it all?
Do we exceed in great difference. Do we fly up thru the mud. Is what knocks us down the reason why we get back up. Where would we be without great discrepancy in life. Would we put more energy into greater deeds. Or would we just spend more time doing nothing.
Should we not give ourselves the chance to exceed in peace. Maybe war isn’t the only way to strive forward. There has to be more then one way to live here on this planet. We must strive for better. Push forward for the other choice. We must try.
When I get there its going to be nice. Its going to be everything I ever wanted.
When I get their all my hard work will pay off. No one will shrug there shoulders and tell me to get a 9 to 5.
When I get they’re people will believe what I say. No one will doubt my dreams.
When I get there birds will sing. And everything will be beautiful.
When I get their people will actually read what I write. They mite actually like it too.
When I get they’re everyone will write on there hands just like me. Will all share our hand doodles.
When I get there it will all worked out. I won’t have to make promises because I will accomplish anything I want on the spot. Take care of every problem. Make everyone happy.
When I get their maybe even the world will understand three ways to spell one word is just stupid. They’ll stop following rules just because there the rules. They’ll stop using rules as weapons to attack each other. Art will blossom from the people and change the world evermore.
I go track by track talking about each song. No songs available to listen to in the post, sorry. Trying to stay away from illegal stuff for this review. And Ive been posting a lot of music lately and those video screens take up a lot of room in the post.
Mrs. Maathai, one of the most famous and widely respected women on the continent, wore many hats — environmentalist, feminist, politician, anti-corruption campaigner, human rights advocate, protester and head of the Green Belt Movement she founded. She was as comfortable in the gritty streets of Nairobi’s slums or the muddy hillsides of central Kenya as she was hobnobbing with heads of state. In 2004, she won the Nobel Peace Prize, with the Nobel committee citing “her contribution to sustainable development, democracy and peace.” It was a moment of immense pride in Kenya and across Africa.
Dr. Maathai was scheduled to deliver a lecture entitled “Environment, Democracy & Peace — A Critical Link” at the University of Nebraska in just a couple of days, on September 28, as part of our E.N. Thompson Forum; the Human Rights and Humanitarian Affairs Program was a co-sponsor of the event and it’s no overstatement that her visit would have been the highlight of our programming year.
If you don’t know much about Dr. Maathai and her work, a quick internet search will bring up a great many interesting articles.
They argue that the death penalty violates the core tenets of their religion and they argue that it is bound up with societal injustices that have deep roots in our history. Public and non-public reasons are being employed here, and you can take your pick as to which you find to be compelling. But even if you aren’t convinced by either one of the arguments they make, you have to agree that this is what a pro-life position looks like.
Now, in case you were wondering what the answer to my question about how the prosecutor would choose to act, after having been asked by the victim’s family not to seek the death penalty against the alleged killer:
A 19-year-old Mississippi man was charged with capital murder Tuesday in the death of an African-American man who died after allegedly being beaten by a group of white teens and run over by a truck, authorities said.
Deryl Paul Dedmon, 19, of Brandon, Mississippi was also charged by a grand jury with hate-crime enhancement in the murder of James Craig Anderson, said Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith.
I’m just guessing, of course, but I’ll bet this District Attorney likely identifies as pro-life … though it seems clear to me that he doesn’t quite understands what that means. He would do well to spend some time speaking with the victim’s family.